To the women suffering from anxiety
At the moment I am surrounded by beautiful women who are in different seasons of life. The ones birthing littles & carrying them in their bosoms, the ones that have stretch marks and flabby bellies (because they are surviving warriors), the ones with new wrinkles & wine glasses that are filled with new found wisdom. The ones sitting in rocking chairs with fleeting eye sight & greying hairs -they are the ones who tell their stories as fairytales… I am blessed by them; they fill life with beauty and diversity.
Along this journey of life we learn, if we listen carefully, if we pause to acknowledge the gentle whispers of those around us…that there are so many stories, so many whispers and so much to learn. I have been so deaf, I haven’t paused, I couldn’t hear the whispers until now. I can’t go back time to listen to the stories of those women I have lost in my life, of those I once called friends, of those whom I have hurt (willingly or un-willingly), of those who have hurt me. I can’t change my past – but I have surely learned from it. I have learned to see that I am blessed by the women that surround me; the bloggers, the mothers, the daughters, the doers & the prayer warriors. The childless, the boss babes, the ones with stitches and the badass bitches. But it pains me to see them getting struck down, torn and hurt…damn you anxiety & panic attacks. Damn you confusion and depression, I hate how you come and destroy so much beauty, so many warriors.
I am lost and confused. I feel powerless before a giant who is ravaging our women. Against this thing that is feeding on the strong and the weak. It has no mercy, no distinction, it just steals and belittles with its lies and its deceptions. I am so little against such a huge giant, I am but one…but I can’t stay silent, I can no longer allow the destruction and the plunder of the minds of these precious, smart and successful women.
Don’t you know who you are? Don’t you know how much you are worth?
To the stay-at-home mom, to the financial provider, to the successful business woman. Don’t you know who you are? To the women suffering from anxiety. To the blogger, the artist, the student, the lover; to the single mother or lonely grandmother. Do you know how much you are worth?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create. -Tenthavenuenorth
Please forgive me for never stopping to see behind the facade, for just looking and driving away.
I have never stopped to think that behind your hurting words, behind the gossip or behind the gentle jab, there is pain. Overwhelming, paralyzing, mind-debilitating pain. I have never stopped to think that the words you have spoken aren’t meant to be daggers misdirected at me; their true targets being your anxiety, your pain, the panic attacks. I haven’t understood. I have just been hiding behind my shield, trying not to be the target of one of your arrows.
I am sorry my friend, for never being there before, for not taking out the time to really listen. I am sorry for not focusing on you. I am sorry for not loving you despite the hurting words you tell and embracing you no matter how much space you place between us. There is so much I don’t understand, I can’t always interpret the silence, the cause, the spark. I don’t know what triggers it…all I know is that neither do you.
But know this, I stand beside you. I am praying for you & I will not leave…I can’t defeat the giant, but I can shine THE LIGHT at it, for the world to see.
To the women suffering from anxiety, depression, suicide & panic attacks: you are loved & you are not alone.
We stand with you!
What a beautiful example of God’s love. My words are not as eloquent, but how inspiring. As women, we need to keep the sisterhood strong. We are all on this life journey and the world so often tells us to judge, and compare, that we are not enough because we don’t look a certain way or because we stay home we’ve not achieved. Nothing could be more wrong. There is love and strength through unity. To love each other as we are for who we are, because we are all beautifully made. Thank you Melissa!
Jeanne, Thank you so much for your kind words. I can’t agree more, there is love and strength in unity! So beautifully said!
Thank you for this beautiful post. My mother struggled with clinical depression, anxiety, and panic attacks my entire life, and most likely her entire life. So when you write:
“I am sorry my friend, for never being there before, for not taking out the time to really listen. I’m sorry for not focusing on you. I’m sorry for not loving you despite the hurting words you tell & embracing you no matter how much space you place between us. There is so much I don’t understand, I can’t always interpret the silence, the cause, the spark. I don’t know what triggers it…all I know is that neither do you. But know this, I stand beside you. I am praying for you & I will not leave…I can’t defeat the giant, but I can shine a Light on it, for the world to see.”
They were the words that I had to say when I was saying my goodbyes, and for the entire year after as I prayed that I could go back and do things over and make her feel more loved and appreciated. There is never a better time than now to pause, to sit back and reflect on your life and all the people in it. Thank you so much for that reminder, Melissa. Beautifully written. You are a true blessing to the people in your life.
Mel, this is beautiful! Thank you for bringing awareness to this extremely hard struggle. Many women don’t talk about it and struggle in silence. It’s such a lonely battle. As women we need to be there for each other and support each other. Love you!
Mel, Thank you so much for such beautiful words. This truly is an incredibly hard struggle and we need to stick together! Love you!!
Thanks for sharing! This was something that I really needed this week! Such beautiful words!
Beautiful post! It’s not easy writing these type of posts but I always feel they are my favourite to read. Thank you!
This is such an incredible and vulnerable post. I love the You Are More song and thank you for sharing this. It’s amazing how God works and how similar our posts are to each other. You are not alone! Prayers and hugs!
Beautifully said. 💜 Thank you for sharing!