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Okay ladies, especially you mother's out there.....Let’s talk about boobs for a second. I am not really sure what happens to our boobs after child birth, but these things change. Different sizes, different shapes, some hang lower; I mean…because it isn’t enough to deal with everything else that happens to our bodies after child birth?! Come on! I realize -there are women out there whose breast are the same after child birth…we hate you. Hahaha just kidding…(insert eye roll here).
Anyways, —boobs are different (as if you didn’t notice). Yes, all boobs are different & they change overtime. Hence the bra. An evil little piece of fabric designed to make our lives miserable, I mean - meant to give our breast a nice lift and shape. We have all been bra shopping…we have all experienced the underwire, the over elastic bra, the push-up bra, even the there's-not-enough-fabric bra…and we search and we search until we find the right size, the right shape and the comfort versus support that we are looking for. We even take out a small loan so that we can pay for that perfect bra.
I remember the first time that I was sized for a bra (after giving birth to Bella). I mean come on, my breast were huge- there was no way they were going to fit into those tiny B sized bras I used to wear. My reality = my body had changed. Now, I had two choices, continue to wear that tiny size B bra or get sized and accept the changes my body underwent. I could either try to wear a bra that barely buckled, where half my boobs fell out, and that felt really uncomfortable - OR - I could accept my new reality and live in the comfort, support and lift that my breast now needed.
You see one size does not fit all…when it comes to bras. We are all different. Moreover, once size does not fit all -during our lifetime, our breast change. We have choices: we can choose to accept our breast for what they are, we can get them surgically altered, or we can live the rest of our lives uncomfortable, trying to fit into someone else’s bra.
So it is in motherhood....You see as mothers we ALL suffer from something that is commonly known as mom guilt. That desire to be the perfect mom to our kids, to be the super heroin that fails at nothing and that can balance it all perfectly.
We have all created this image in our heads of what a perfect mother is….because we saw her on our instafeed, and we loved her instastory. Her children are angels and so perfect all the time. Her house is impeccable- her laundry room is always empty because all her clothes are clean and folded away perfectly. Her hair is straight out of a salon and she dresses tastefully and so elegant on the daily. She is amazing and we all want to be her….our boobs want to fit into her bra…and when they don’t we come down on ourselves.
When our kids fail at reading, when our laundry is pilled so high and you forget which one is the clean pile and which one is the dirty pile. When you arrive late to school, when your child has a learning disability, when you can’t remember if it was Monday when you last washed your hair, and if these are the same yoga pants you wore yesterday??? You then look at yourself and you drown in mom guilt. Because there is nothing in your life that lives up to the perfect expectation that you have built up in your head. Because you are trying to fit into a size B when you are a D.
We have all been created differently. Just like each boob is not the same as the other, so we as women have been carefully and beautifully crafted differently. Our abilities and gifting are unique to us, our passions & dreams have been placed personally in our hearts. We all look different on the outside, no two of us are the same on this earth...so why then are we so focused on being like someone else? Why are we trying to fit into someone else's bra?
Take your children for example, are they like any other child you know? Maybe similar, but not the same. So, why are we trying to parent like someone else? Why are we placing mom guilt over our heads? Why do we focus so much on who we are and not on everything wonderful that we are? We have been wonderfully made.
This isn't an excuse to be lazy. I am not saying that you don't have a responsibility over your child. What I am in fact saying is that you have been given a gift, a precious gift, ( a testing little precious gift-that on some days drives you insane)...but a beautiful gift nonetheless. It is your job to care, pay attention to, love, nurture, discipline and raise your child well. To outpour your heart into that little person.
Parenting them is not about comparison.
Parenting them is not about comparison; it is not about making it work, like it worked for ( insert her name here ). Let's get real for a moment, there is no one putting on that pressure on you, you are doing that to yourself.